Support from friends and loved ones is important for survivors. Here are some guidelines around what to do and what not to do:

DO:
  • Review the Impacts of Interpersonal Violence so you can better understand new behaviors your friend may be displaying. 
  • Encourage your friend to seek support. Visit Resources for Support, Care & Questions to help them select the right options for them.
  • Listen and validate their experiences, reactions, and feelings.
  • Respond to your friend with supportive, non-judgmental messages (i.e. I believe you, what happened wasn’t your fault, I’m so sorry that this happened, I’m so glad you told me, you have options – what do you want to do next?
  • Provide information about support resources, if your friend asks for them.
  • Ask how you can help, and allow your friend to make their own choices about what they want to do next.
DON'T:
  • Make decisions for your friend or give advice about what they “should” do.
  • Share your friend’s story with anyone without their permission.
  • Ask questions about your friend’s experiences – it is not your job to investigate what happened. Allow your friend to share as much or as little as they are comfortable with. Ask questions or make statements that may blame your friend for what happened. Avoid asking your friend why they didn't call the police, why they didn't leave/fight back, or if they are sure of what happened. Do not say things like "it must not be that big of a deal", "you were really drunk", or "I can’t believe they would do that, they’re such a nice person".